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October 2nd, 2005

10:43 am - Pre-Foundation Day Malapit na itong dumating, ang foundation day na aking inaabangan! Marami na rin akong pic, pero inaasahan kong makakuha ng maraming photos for the cd on foundation day... Sana makasulat na ulit ako ng nobela... I need inspiration... Salamat sa everyone na naghelp sa Humanities play... And lastly, ako'y magbabasa ng tagalog na EKONOMIKS book! Current Mood: artistic Current Music: Beautiful Soul- Jesse McCartney

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July 23rd, 2005

07:03 pm - Masakit nanaman! HEHEHEHEH I'm so tired of falling in love when in the end, I can never achieve it. Why do I fall for the person I know I can never have and although we may have a great friendship, it will never go any farther than that. In the wise words of Ruvie's magical midnightly pooled cellphone, its so hard to fall for a close friend because even if you talk about everything and are really truly close, there would be always another person that he or she would be talking about to you. I feel so bad when I see other people happy in love. I feel so OP when people (especially my service mates) talk about their "toot toots" and not share it with me. It hurts because we're all good friends and I feel shunned in a way, which in the words of IV-Lawrence, ang sakit. Am I that untrustworthy? Why can they trust each other and not trust me. Hehe. Bitter is the adjective for me. Aside from lousy, that is. Medyo masama loob ko kay Jhek these past weeks. May alitan kasi kami. First of all, kung binabasa man ito ni Jheric, I'm really sorry kung may nasasabi akong masama toward you. Yung "bastard thing" is actually natural for me, dahil lahat ng close friends ko ay tinatawag kong bastard. Pero, yung pinakamasakit na tungkol kay Jhek ay yung mas gusto niya pang maging president ng Lawrence si Randolph over me, who is but a lousy president... Wawawa... Once again, sorry kung ika'y inaaway ko, pero its not entirely my fault you know. As I become more bitter, I become more alone. I guess I can thank people na nagpapasaya sa akin habang ako'y bitter. 1) Ms. Dashie-dash. Siya ay ang aking kinokonsulta sa mga problema. I know na hindi na kami gaanong close since the start of Third year, pero Dash is still Dash and she can still listen to your problems. 2) Ms. Qi Xe. Si Cherryl kasi, kahit na physically abused ako sa kanya, ay isa paring magaling at responsibel na (personal) class secretary. Salamat for reminding me na ako naman talaga ang nagpapalousy sa sarili ko. Well... 3) Ms. Cutey Ermy, si Erma kasi ay yung pwede kong lapitan kung may problema ako concerning Anjay. Kasi mas kilala niya si Anjay dahil best friends sila. And... well... nakakarelate kami sa kung ano ano. 4) Ms. Melandrina. Kahit na down na ako ay mayroong corniness na natitira sa akin at si Lanie ang nagrerevitalize ng aking corny powers. Yeah! 5) The Burbank 4, composed of Ms. Rochie, Ms. Lala, Ms. Kim and Ms. Isase. Kasi close rin ako sa kanila, tapos we talk and laugh and everything. Tapos kapag may problema tungkol kay ******ABU****** ay nalalapitan ko sila. 6) Ms. Jobel, kasi kahit na hindi na kami magkaklase ay nalalapitan ko pa siya ang everything. Also, people and things I miss very much. 1) Ms. Marie Angeluz Danilen Soler! Naku, di na kami nag-uusap. Di na kami nag-shashare ng lovelife. Di na namin pinag-uusapan ang kaguluhan ng buhay! KASI NAGING MAGKAKLASE PA KAMI!!!!! Dahil doon ay napalayo kami sa isa't isa. 2) Lahat ng Ptolemy, dahil minsan ay hi-hello na lang ang dating ko sa kanila... Wawawa... 3) Family, dahil mas malayo na kami ni Jelo dahil sa school, lagi na kaming nag-aalitan ng parets ko, tapos wala namang gaanong personal life si Ate Mercy, so medyo walang buhay sa bahay. 4) Isang rival, dahil for no apparent reason ay nawalan na ako ng tinatawag na rival. Hehe, kasi I finally accepted na ako yung may problema emotionally and socially, at hindi yung "rival" ko. 5) Being GC, dahil hindi na ako as serious in studies ngayon compared noong PTOSH pa ako. Parang nawalan na ako ng gana. 6) Isang best friend, dahil second-year pa nung huli akong nagkaroon ng super closeness sa klase, with Maan and Mark. Well, gusto ko sana ng isang best friend. Tapos, noong third year, with Anjay, pero nawala na rin yata yun dahil naging magkakalase na kami. Argh! May mga candidates na ako, pero may mga best friend na rin naman sila... 7) Isang love life, dahil very confused pa ako with love life. That is concerned with *TOOOOOOOOOOOT*. Hehe. 8) Novel... It seems I need inspiration to make one. I can't just rely on my plot, kasi kapag hindi ako in love, hindi ako nakakagawa ng nobela... Darn... Bitter ako... I'm sorry kung napaka-dramatic ko... I'm sorry kung sa blog ko na lang nalalabas ito dahil I can't really release this angst anywhere else. I don't want it to affect my school life, pero... Once again... ANG SAKIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Current Mood: confused Current Music: Tell me where it hurts by MYMP

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July 22nd, 2005

08:03 pm - Bitter Me... I'm bitter... Hehe... Anyway, I just came from the leadership seminar and I'm quite tired and bored from it. Nothing special in it anyway. Also, I feel something like love. You see, I've already forgotten about my past and I guess I've found a new love for me... I feel so confused. Why in the world is it *TOOOOOOOOOOT*? Hehe, something for you to think about. Current Mood: bitter Current Music: Neon East : The Urbz

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July 9th, 2005

04:24 pm - Buhay nanaman ako! After how many weeks, I guess I've survived my senior life... I've discovered a lot of things and learned lessons of life over the course of an AJSS-like period of 5 weeks... Let me tell you the story... 1. I became class president! My golly! Sino bang nasa tamang condisyon ng pag-iisip ay magvovote sa akin na irresponsable. Cguro dahil maganda ang first impression ko sa kanila (IV-LAWRENCE). 2. My batchmates are just like me. They're no different and they're fun. They can't be ptosh substitutes, but definitely friends-to-be. 3. Teachers who're still there and new ones I've met. a) Mr. Bangayan - na strict as a teacher, pero may kwela rin na tinatago b) Ms. San Jose - na nagustuhan ang aming cute na health report at in fairness ay nakukuha ko ang good-side ng mga PEHM teachers, thank god! c) Mr. Derez - na mas hari pa sa akin sa pagiging King Corn at mahilig kay Rochelle. d) Mrs. Erencio - walang laban pa rin ang kape! e) Mrs. Gumboc - don't get on her bad side. Kaya nga ako'y isang slave dahil I'm d president. f) Mrs. De Leon - cool talaga ang Pinoy! g) Ms. Pangilinan - I really don't like FM. Scary ung mga sets chuva! h) Mrs. Aniban - Ala-GMA smile! i) Mrs. Jacob - ang kinabukasan ay nakay Gloria, isang tunay na ekonomista! j) Mr. Bau - Questions? Clarification? Ahhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyy! Sorry! (Go, Cea!) k) Mrs. Abadilla - Pile ou Face? Whateber! Kasi vous vous ako sa francais eh. 4. Ang kapangyarihan ng Sharky, shark's tale, nemo and everything! It's scary to the max! 5. Mga corniness ni Lanie (w/ actions) 6. Vandalisms in the name of our mascot, M. Ramel! 7. Ang 20-something na crushes ni Khimber 8. Mademoiselle Erma + Cea = Loveteam 9. Nakakapagod ang mga issues, especially kung nalink ka sa may boyfriend na! Naku, Kasher, bastard talaga o! 10. Nakakamiss yung powers ni Erielle sa service kapag uwian na. Parang kulang! (Erielle, matouch ka naman oh!) 11. Pro-Townes na ako sa basketball, pero France forevah! 12. Marami akong natutunan tungkol sa past ni Kim Esteban. 13. Group 1 in Fil the best! 14. Mapanglait si Jheric bastard! Argh! Hehe! 15. Anjay, I know na kung sino ang tinitibok ng puso mo! 16. Parang kulang ang puso ko kapag hindi ko nakita ang lahat ng ptosh sa isang araw. 17. close-closan ako sa mga goltebz guys tulad ni Jomz and Coco. 18. I'm starting a new novel, pero as usual, it shall renmain secret till I reach the halfway mark. 19. I guess its hard to forgive the "demon of your life" when you've been hurt so badly that it left you scarred forever... 20. Gusto ko na gumawa nung "disappearing act" movie na 36 ptosh tapos parang ANTM na isa-isang nawawala sa picture! Current Mood: amused

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April 1st, 2005

05:51 pm - April Fool's Day Note: It's hard to get anonymous comments! Remember to place your name upon commenting! Chan is really a strangely eccentric person. He hates everything in the world, he loves to smile and laugh out loud at everything in the world. That just is creepy, but he' one cool dude. But, I just can't understand him. He also hates Mr. B who he says is gay. He told me to right that in the blog, so I'm just fulfilling a favor. Jelo has graduated. Congrats my Third Honorable Brother! Mwah! All graded tests are over. Physics project and Clearances are all that's left. The end of the schoolyear makes me contemplate! A lot of things have happened this third year. It has once again morphed my ever so amorphous soul. I feel like an amalgam. I wish to thank every person in Ptolemy for giving me a year of excitement, fun and joy. Even if I've had a few yet major eruptions of sadness, I have changed my view on the people who did those things to me. It wasn't their fault. It was all mine and that has made me a bitter person... Now, I realize that without them, I could never have been me now. All I have to tell them, if you think you're oneof them, is that I'm sorry for all the bad mouthing and the talking behind your back. I'm sorry for feeling bad about the happiness of others. I'm sorry for the major blunders I ahve commited because of my lack of personality. I want to give a special thank you message to ecah person in Tosh, but I'll just do it tomorrow. I'll create cute little patches of HTML which will really hit your spot. I'll also finish the album, so I may have a worth this year. Sadly, I have not finished a novel. Don't worry though. Summer will bring me enough inspiration. Hope I can still get contact with everyone during summer. Hope that there will be a star section next year! Ateneo here I come though... Current Mood: drunk Current Music: True - Ryan Cabrera

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March 26th, 2005

12:10 am - Black Sturday Frenzy Nasa bahay ako ni Eric at bored na ako dahil Anjo and Eric are both doing homework!!!!! Tapos na rin ang Fil project. Jheric couldn't attend though. By the way, happy bday jobel! Everyone, please visit my second blog K.S.R. Current Mood: bored Current Music: Suteki Da Ne

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March 25th, 2005

06:08 pm - Tarot Card LiveJournal Tarot Cards Pentacles justinclay A boy beneath the starry sky, pointlessly blank expressions at the moment. Divinatory Meanings: It is a card of emotional value, somewhat chaotic and yet gentle. It is all in the heart though. He signifies want for material possession and yet reaches out to touch others hearts or may reach out just to either steal away their money or grope inappropriately. Reversed: Perfection, Insignificance, Lust, Turmoil, Thrift Element: The element most in tune with the boy is Wind, either a gust breathing soft and sweet life or a tornado of disaster. Whether the boy is an omen or not depends on those who look at him. Make your own LiveJournal Tarot Card! Brought to you by crossfire Current Mood: always contemplative Current Music: Dr. Dokkiri Ending Theme

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March 19th, 2005

07:53 pm - Sorry guys! Well, sorry to everyone who got to read my blog and got affected by the grouping post that I did. I'm really sorry if I did it. I'm sorry if I forgot people, I'm sorry if I hurt anyone. I now realize (once again) that I'm so stupid to have done a lot of things like that. Well, I'm sad knowing that a lot of you reacted to me and my yapping. I feel that I've been a horrible clasmate to Ptolemy... I'm really sorry. But wait, I hope that you don't take this the wrong way. Maybe some of you would treat this post as another one of my pleas to be part of something, or another self-pity, self-loathing post. I feel so hurt sometimes when people treat me like that. Sometimes I can't accept criticism, especially when trashed unto you at one point. Well, I block out most negative energy with GC-ness or green-ness, just for the sake na mawala na problems ko. SOmetimes, I write or I play RPGs or games. I realize that I'm just another one of those hypocrites. I say that I've stopped pointing fingers or I've washed my hands, but I guess I dirty them again with each passing sentence in this blog. hehe. There are times that I wish I were a different person and that I wish I had the mind of others so I can be accepted into the society. Another realiztion is that I can never be that, so I'll be me and that's what I am... hehe... This is my letter of apology, another one to mask once again, the greatest bunders ever commited by me. I caused people pain and anxiety, but if you can't accept what I just wrote, or how I can't describe howsad and sorry I am, I don't know what you are... For the last time, this is an apology... (wala na exag nanaman...) \\PS\\ By the way... Keep on watching American Idol! It's really great. Study hard! Love ko tosh... Sagad! Current Mood: so sorry Current Music: Sorry 2004 - Ruben Studdard

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March 16th, 2005

09:57 pm - Be Happy! I realize that I've wasted one half of my third year life sulking about unchangable stuff and getting sad at the weirdest things, but I get to finally have the realization that those things are gone now, and that now, I am truly ahppy and content with who I am and my state in Ptolemy. Some things in the past that really hit me to the very core and pushed out the sadness out of me! The following are: 1. Losing a best friend, specifically Mark 2. Acquiring a gap with people, like Maan and Eric and Dash and Erielle 3. Getting called STORKY! 4. Envy of other people's happiness and so-called PERFECTION 5. Never finding a place I could belong to, no groups whatsoever 6. No lovelife! 7. Poor Physics Grade 8. Poor Math Grade 9. Poor Trigo Grade 10. Crowds 11. Not having anyone to share anything with 12. Not having a fucking novel finished (Started a novel, but due to physical reasons, was not able to) 13. Trapped in an isolated PTOLEMY world And now, I look back and answer every stupi reason I wasted my life the past half schoolyear and what happened in the last quarter that changed a lot. 1. Who cares. He wasn't my best friend to begin with, becuase even if he did hang around with me, it wasn't like anything like bonding. Whatever! I now know that best friends are not necessary when you can be freids with a lot of people who make you happy! Postulate: Do not give all friendship to one, because friendship is given to everyone 2. The gap I had wasn't made by them, it was made by me. It was becayuse I didn't go closer to people whom I had unconsciously formed gaps with. That is why, I always try tokeep close with people! A lot! Postulate: Gaps are formed by me, not by ther other party. 3. Storky is such a cute name and I like, unless it is spoken by a certain OYSTER-headed bastard. I have grown to accept that it is a beautiful thing. I shouldn't have let myself get down by that. Ate Gem, thanks a lot! Luv yah! Postulate: Ignore those who try to pull you down, instead try to pull them up from their desolate state of being, because it is not your fault to be the target of humiliation. It is only because you are unique 4. No one is so go-damn perfect. So kahit na pinapamukha mo sa akin na perpekto ka, guess what, you're not. Everyone has wholes and I have a lot as well. I shouldn't ahv been jealous of what people had. Instead, I should have craeted my own happiness from myself instead of feeding off someone else's grief. Postulate: create your own happiness, not sucking it off another's grief. 5. Groups are not important, because as a section, Ptolemy is one. I have finally accepted that I do not belong to a group because that would be trapping myself in such an exclusive cage that limits freedom. You may think exclusivity is good, but you'll see the side-effects soon enough. I know I did. Simplicity is key and that's what I learned from the Backstreet Boys and from ace, Lee, chan and jansei. Postulate: Exclusivity limits. Uncaste yourselves for freedom. 6. What was I thinking. GC ako! Grades bago love! Joke! Naku, love isn't a necessity for someone like me. SIguro crush, pero relationships started out ngayon will never last to the highest level. Postulate: Never start early in love, because it won't last long. Lovelife is not a necessity! 7,8,9 I'm catching up to these subjects. I'm learning Physics and I got 59 thank GOD! Trigo lessons are becoming easier although I still need to work on it. And math nowadays is not a subject anymore. Plus, I have my study mates, Ekai, Weena, Treisha, Anjo etc. Postulate: If you have a book, it makes a lot of things easier! 10. I still have an issue on crowds and when I'm in a crowd, I feel unhappy. I never realized if I can be happy in a crowd in which I can not relate, but you know, I realize that I'm quite happy to be with crowds of people who welcome me, like Backstreet or Kamote. I hope that people welcome me in crowds. I really fear it. Postulate: A fear of many roots from a fear of ONE 11. I was scared because I usually tell a person about how I feel. Actually, I found one not from ptolemy. Of course, it will have to be ANJ! Go! Girl, you're the best! Postulate: The greatest friend you meet may be the most unlikely 12. I printed the Flight of Cranes this year and I bookbound the Shounen AI collection. That satisfies me. BY the way, please read my Shounen Ai collection. It's the best! Postulate: Yaoi brings me joy. Shounen Ai has become a new inspiration! 13. I made a lot of friends with the fourth year because of YMCA and I felt close with them. It's sad though that they will be leaving and I feel like there will be someting missing! Postulate: The good things last so short. Now, I'm happy! Well, maybe not completely, but happy nonetheless! I hope that other people become happy too and stop acting sad! Nothing will be acquired from sadness. Get over it! Go! Go! Current Mood: bouncy Current Music: American Idol

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March 13th, 2005

03:04 pm - Eureka! I just got a shocking idea for a new novel! Thank you yaoi and fanfiction for bringing the power of my brain to the fullest. Also, I want to study hard for Physics. I want to make career of it! Also, last times National Museum thing was okay. First, my museum buddy was Ace, but Ace left and went with Lee. He was going to attend the birthday of Jolaz so he wouldn't attend the practice. I also became closer with Jheric, because we had lunch together (date ba yun? Joke lang!) napagastos tuloy ako ng 150 pesos! Then, I went to Jollibee and found my ates and kuyas sa newton! Of course nandoon si aTe Mafie at si Ate Azi and ATe Pouchie! Naku bakit ba puro rhyming mga pangalan nila. Later ay nag-usap kami ni Dash at nagalit siya sa akin dahil tinutukso ko daw siya. Kwinentuhan ko naman siya na nakita ko si Rotap sa Jollibee at siya'y nagtransform into kilig mode! Naku Dash, mag-ingat sa otap! Then, sinamahan ako ni Paulo sa Rob na bumili ng Macromedia (Dreamweaver, Flash, etc.) and inintroduce niya ako sa exciting na Taro Ice from QUickly. I had a lot of fun getting to know other people more! Sad ako dahil maraming projects! Sad rin ako dahil under construction pa rin ang aking rom. NExt week pa siya mafifinish! Argh! Anyway, balik nanaman ako sa Yaoi mode! Sobrang romantic to the highest lvel talaga ang mga TAICHI X YAMATO! Ako na yata ang ultimate Fanboy! HAHAHA! Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: Hungry Heart Song na favorite ni Dan

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